His Steadfast Love Endures Forever!

How do I even begin? I am so thankful! God is AMAZING! Once again, my MRI and CT scans are stable. Since they've been stable for so long, my doctor decided to take me off the chemo pills! This just doesn't happen with brain cancer. He is obviously not through with me yet! 

HIS STEADFAST LOVE ENDURES FOREVER

Oh praise the Lord for He is good!

His steadfast love endures forever.

I will shout from the hilltops because

His steadfast love endures forever!

I am forever thankful for all He has done.

His steadfast love endures forever.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

His steadfast love endures forever!

Beyond Joyful

God, the Maker of all things from the smallest quark to the largest galaxy, loves me (Genesis 1:31; John 3:16-17). That in itself blows my mind. He cares about all the details of my life. This absolutely amazes me. How can that even be possible? He has such large things to manage. The very existence of time is in His control because He is outside of time. He knows all things from the beginning to the end (Isaiah 46:9-10; Revelation 21:6). He knows the choices that I will make tomorrow, whether good or bad, and He will make those choices work out for good (Romans 3:38). How? I have no idea. If I understood everything that He does, He wouldn't be much of a God, would He? I only know that I am extremely thankful for Him and the love and grace He has shown me. 

So here is the news of today, concerning the MRI and doctor appointments. I am beyond joyful! My MRI was stable and it has been for a while. I asked my doctor what this meant since my brain tumors have been stable for so long. He said it's probably just scar tissue. I asked him if that meant the tumors were gone. He said probably so! That just doesn't happen with brain cancer! PRAISE GOD THROUGH WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!! When he left the room, I literally broke down, cried, and couldn't praise God enough! I am truly a walking miracle!!

We also discussed whether I should stop chemo treatments. He said we could, but it might come back. My breast cancer doctor agreed. Since I don't have major side effects from the chemo, we decided that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!" So I will continue taking chemo pills, but I won't be as concerned when I forget to take a dose. God is SO good!!

So for now, I can plan for the future. I haven't felt like I can really do that in a long time. Will those plans come to fruition? Maybe not, but I can dream again. So look out! Who knows what I'll be up to! But whatever it is, I will glorify Him. THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!!

"And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day." ~ Genesis 1:31

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him." ~ John 3:16-17

"Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all My purpose." ~ Isaiah 46:9-10

'And He said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment.' ~ Revelation 21:6 

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." ~ Romans 8:28 

Tired, but Joyful! 🙌🙌

Reminders

This time of year can be quite challenging. I like the fact that Facebook keeps up with your memories from previous years' posts, but it is also a tough reminder at times. June marks 12 years since my cancer journey reignited, 24 years since the cancer journey began, and 34 years since my first Chiari surgery. But through it all, God has been with me every step of the way. He has been my constant companion, even in the hardest of times. I'm reminded of how even Elijah wanted the Lord to take his life at one point, but God reminded Him that He wasn't through with him yet. His story wasn't complete, and mine isn't either. As long as there is breath in my lungs, He will use me in some way and I will use that breath to glorify Him. As 139:14 states, "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

Today's Facebook memory from June 29, 2010

I wanted to update you concerning my doctor appointment. After examining the PET/CT scans, the doctor feels that my cancer has probably returned. I'm going to be admitted to UAB today so they can do a biopsy and figure out what's going on with my throat and everything else. Please join me as I pray. My God is good, and He will bring me through anything and everything.

Thankful

Wow. It has been a REALLY long time since I posted! So much has changed! We lived through a pandemic (well, almost), my grandchildren are much bigger, Lucy started and completed Kindergarten, Linda passed away--unbelievable! I just haven't felt like writing. I'm still having lots of pain. Much of it is the terrible headaches I have, but I also have a lot of back pain now. But my scans are still good. One of my doctors even said I'm doing "weirdly well"--my first official weird diagnosis! 

Because of the pandemic, I've been able to do telehealth visits with my doctors. I've had my scans done here in Huntsville and then zoom with them. However, I had my first visit with my breast cancer doctor in February and will have one with my brain cancer doctor in October. They're both so amazed at how well I'm doing. However, I know why I am--it's because of the Great I AM!! For some reason, He is still using me. Only He knows my expiration date. When it's time for me to go Home, that's when I'll go! And I can't wait to bow at His Feet. Can you just imagine? Wow! 

I really don't have much to say. God is good, and I am still here. So thankful for His goodness!

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under Heaven." ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

38 Years

Thirty-eight years. That's how long it's been since I had an accident that brought my Chiari symptoms to the forefront. No, the accident did not cause the Chiari; the problem had been there since birth—I just didn't know about it. Because Chiari was relatively new and most doctors didn't even know about it at the time, no one could figure out what was going on. Actually, any doctor I saw thought it was "all in my head." (They really didn't know how accurate that was!)

The Arnold-Chiari Malformation that I have is due to my cerebellum being too far down and reaching into my spinal cord. The cord puts pressure on my brain, causing headaches, double vision, difficulty swallowing, dizziness, neck pain, unsteady gait, weakness, and ringing in my ears. My symptoms began in 1982 as headaches. Other symptoms started appearing a few months later. I went to several different eye doctors and told them about the double vision. At the time, the double vision would mainly occur when I was under a lot of stress. Since you can't schedule stress, they couldn't see it and really didn't believe me. That is, until late 1987 when I was doing my student teaching. I had an eye appointment after an especially stressful day at school. The double vision was so bad that I had to cover one eye to drive. And yes, the doctor finally saw it. He sent me to a neuro-ophthalmologist at UAB. He just "happened" to be doing research on Chiari, so he recognized it immediately. I felt so vindicated! At the time, I was only the 2nd known case in the USA. He sent me to Johns Hopkins for a 2nd opinion. Upon returning, I had surgery to remove a quarter size piece of skull tissue in the back of my head, along with the backs of the top 3 vertebrae to alleviate pressure on my brain. It helped, but I was never asymptomatic. The symptoms began to return, and I had another surgery in 2001. Again, it helped but didn't completely correct the problem. I still have tons of headaches (of course, brain cancer attributes to that too), double vision, and dizziness. I take medication that really helps with the double vision, so that's not really an issue any more.

Thirty-eight years is a long time. I'm tired and just want to go Home. I have headaches every day, but I'd been blessed to have a few weeks of minor headaches. However, that changed Monday. Today is Wednesday, and I've had a really, really bad headache since then. A headache this bad often lasts a week or more. I really covet your prayers. Please enter His Throneroom on my behalf and ask for relief. The pain, along with grieving for my Mama, is relentless. Maybe He's waiting on an army of prayer warriors to intercede along with Him. Please join the troops. I would appreciate it immensely.

Opposite Day

Have you ever played the opposite game? I remember my kids playing it with me. It could get confusing and hilarious all at the same time. Their "yes" became "no" and their "no" became "yes." They almost got in trouble a few times but would yell "Opposite day!"

Well, that's how it is with Christ. The very thing the world expects becomes the opposite. I know you've seen stories of parents forgiving their child's murderer. Pope John Paul II not only forgave his would be assassin (attempted in 1981), but they became friends. After the Pope died in 2005, his attacker truly mourned his death. That's what we do as Christians--the very opposite of what the world expects. Not because of us, but because Jesus did the opposite of what anyone expected. Instead of a crown of gold, He wore a crown of thorns. Not what you would expect from a king. But that's exactly what He is--our King. He died so we could live. The cross was actually His coronation ceremony. How opposite is that!

Sit back, close your eyes, and listen to this song. You certainly have time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xk4xS-95mE

Under the Shelter of His Wings

Wow. I didn't realize it had been so long since I wrote an entry until someone asked me to share my blog with them. For those of you who aren't on Facebook, my apologies!

So much has happened since last summer, which was my last post. We are currently facing a world-wide pandemic that has most of us stuck at home. Honestly, this is how my life is most of the time. I do miss my church family, my kids, and my grandbabies. Peter was born in January and has grown so much already. Yes, we can facetime, but it's definitely not the same. I need to hold him and play with Lucy! Lucy is at such a fun age. We do all kinds of pretend when we're together. Oh, how I miss them! Oh, but I do miss you too David and Rachel. You're kind of special too. 😉

My health is unchanged. I'm still the miracle my doctor said I was! I still have good days and bad days. There are days when the only thing that reminds me that I have cancer is the lack of energy. Sometimes, I feel really good and will do WAY too many things at home. When I do, I'm quickly reminded that I shouldn't be doing that. Oh the fatigue that sets in! Other time, I'm in such pain that I really wish God would just take me Home. Those are days when I don't see a purpose in my continual existence. No worries though. God reminds me that He isn't finished with me yet. Nevertheless, when those thoughts and feelings enter my messed up brain, they are very real. Satan is quite diligent in focusing on making me feel insignificant. But then God... Don't you just love that! The word "but" can be a very loving word!

Today is a good day. I'm experiencing a lot of pain in my neck (no anecdotes, please!🤣), but it isn't excruciating like it so often is. He has me under the shelter of His Wings.

He has us ALL under the shelter of His Wings. Yes, COVID-19 has changed our world, possibly forever. The good news is that He has gotten our attention. So many Christians are being His Hands and Feet. The stories we've seen and experienced have His love written all over them. Who would have thought that an MSNBC anchor would ask a pastor on national TV to pray for us all? Who would have thought that America could ever be basically shut down but so many acts of kindness would occur during the midst of it all? I know Who. The One Who wrote the greatest love story and history book of all time. The One Who loves us even when we're at our absolute worst. The One Who forgives us for even the most heinous of atrocities, if we only ask. The One Who took it all on Himself so we wouldn't have to endure the punishment we so rightly deserve. Do you know this One? Do you know my Jesus? He came as a Baby, but He will soon return as a Conqueror. He will destroy all sin--none of it will be left, including those of us who refuse to turn to Him for forgiveness. Which side will you be on? The Conqueror or the conquered?

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
~ Joshua 28:15 [emphasis mine]

One more thing. If you haven't read Revelation, read it. If you need help reading it or have questions, ask. I've taught it in my small group for several years but definitely have a lot to learn. One good commentary I've found is on the Through the Word app. Chapter 18 is like reading current events. If you read it and don't see how it's so relevant, ask. It can be a very challenging book to read and understand, but it's oh so worth it. He's coming soon. Are you ready?