"I just returned from my oncologist with the results of my PET/CT scan. There is an abnormality in my left lung and one near my tail bone. I'm having a biopsy Monday at 3:20 in Huntsville to determine whether or not it is cancer. Whatever the outcome, pray most that my response and attitude will glorify God."
Seeing this memory made me a bit melancholy. I proceeded to text Neal. He encouraged me by saying I had glorified Him. What an encouragement! That's when I realized today's date and sent him this text:
"It's also been 20 years today since I had the original cancer surgery. Coincidentally, it was also a Monday."
I continued in my downward spiral of sadness, but this was his response:
"So you are officially a 20 year cancer survivor."
And it hit me. Yes I am. I am a survivor. Since that original diagnosis, I've known several people who have started the battle and are survivors, but I've also known several who have started and finished. I know there's a reason why some of us are still here while others are not. It's really challenging for me to offer encouragement to someone who has lost a loved one to cancer. Why them and not me? I sometimes feel guilty that I'm here when their loved one isn't. Sound crazy? I guess that's another form of survivor's guilt.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate my husband in times like this. He's got my back like no one in this world does. He didn't know how much those nine words would mean to me: "So you are officially a 20 year cancer survivor." Yes, I am a survivor. Thanks be to God, I am a survivor. My main goal in this journey has always been to glorify Him. Oh, how He deserves that and so much more!!
I still take daily chemo pills to keep the tumors from growing. The side effects are not fun, but I'm still here. I could use some encouragement today. If you read this blog post in it's entirety, please offer a word of encouragement. Not only will it help me today, but I can come back and read it later. Here are some words of encouragement from His precious Word.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." ~ Joshua 1:9
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." ~ Hebrews 11:1
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:18
| "I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~ Psalm 139:14 "But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him." ~ Jeremiah 17:7 |
