News

Ok. So I went to the doctor today, had a CT scan, and an infusion treatment. News? I have new cancer lesions in my lungs and one that was already there has grown. I'm not exactly a happy camper. However, on the bright side, my doctor said that although she's not happy, this isn't devastating news. It happens. The prognosis really hasn't changed, but it does explain why I've been so much more weak and tired lately. I will begin a new regimen of chemo in two weeks. Woo-hoo! Time to learn about more side effects.

I'm not surprised. It's been increasingly difficult for me to bounce back from each treatment. I was dreading today because I felt the news would not be good. Does this show a lack of faith? I don't think so. I know that God can take away this cancer any time. I know that with every ounce of my being. I also know that He often allows us to endure hardships for our ultimate good or for the good of others. This life isn't about us. It never has been. It's about Him. It's about what we can do for Him through our love of others. Do I get angry because this is the road that has been set before me? You better believe it. Do I deserve this road? You better believe it, and much more. I'm glad I don't get what I deserve. If I got what I deserve, I'd die in excruciating pain and go to an eternity of even worse pain. I'm so glad I don't get what I deserve! God is so good!!

Enjoy each day. Live life to the fullest. Do His will. He loves you beyond reason.

Home today

I'm home today. I should be at school, but I got sick at school yesterday afternoon. If you know me well, you know that I forget to take time for me. Even as I write this, I feel guilty about being at home and not at school. I have a treatment tomorrow so I will definitely not be there then. I enjoy doing the things that I do and want to do them well. God is good and He has sustained me, but I'm just so tired!

I have a CT scan tomorrow as well so pray that it comes back normal. The scan's at 8:40, the doctor visit is as 11, and the infusion is at 1. Just another day at UAB.

Neal is working at home today. He normally goes to Nashville on Wednesday because he has a class on Wednesday night, but he loves me and wants to take care of me. He's stood beside me through everything. I've had so many health issues during our 25 years of marriage, but he's been right beside me through it all. I'm so blessed to have him.

With David's upcoming wedding, there are several things that I need to get done but just can't seem to gather the energy to do them. Please pray that I can somehow get them done. I know that he and Eva will get married on June 2 whether or not I'm able to do the things that need to get done now, but I want to be able to do these things for them. I'm just so thankful that God brought them together. Eva is going to be a wonderful addition to our family.

Oops. I'm doing it again--not taking care of me. I'm going to bed.

Challenges

I am going to try to update the blog each Saturday. We'll see if I can keep it up!

I'm beginning to become more tired. I just can't seem to bounce back from the treatments like I did before. I guess 17 months of chemotherapy will do that to a person!

This week has been a bit challenging. I've been trying to catch a cold. Yeah, I know. I shouldn't try too hard!

I have a treatment this Thursday. Like I've stated in the original post, I take chemo pills daily. The treatments I receive every three weeks include an infusion of herceptin and an infusion of zometa. Herceptin causes me to have a lack in concentration, and zometa causes flu-like symptoms. I don't exactly look forward to them.

I also have a CT scan scheduled for Thursday morning. I should know the results that day. Please keep us in your prayers. We do need them!

On a lighter note, I'm getting more and more excited about my son David's wedding. The wedding is June 2 and I'm in the midst of planning a shower for his fiance' Eva and in planning the rehearsal dinner. What an exciting time in their lives! Eva has truly been an answer to our prayers. She is such a blessing. My daughter Rachel is the maid of honor. How sweet of Eva to bestow such an honor on Rachel! I'm such a proud mom!

Keep on keeping on!

What a week it's been! God is so good. He allowed me to teach this week and complete much of the paperwork that is required of gifted specialists this time of year. Yes I've been quite tired, but I'm tired most of the time now. I'm so blessed to still be able to go to work and do what He has called me to do. He placed me at Monrovia for a reason. I struggle at times and want to just stay home, but I'm determined to persevere for as long as He will allow. Things could be so much worse. I'm blessed beyond reason. Several friends cooked dinner for my family this week; I received a goody basket one day from a dear colleague; and a sweet little girl from church sent me a Valentine card, reminding me that she prays for me each day. Thanks guys! I needed each one so much. It's been one of those weeks that I have been so tired of being tired. It's been good to be reminded that others think of me and pray for me. This battle can be quite a lonely one at times.

I completed my Sunday School lesson for tomorrow. Did I mention that I teach 9^th and 10^th grade youth? We are studying Revelation, and chapter 7 is the chapter for tomorrow. I literally cried at times when reading how He will wipe every tear from our eyes. Oh how wonderful that day will be! Come quickly Lord Jesus!

I have felt good today. Saturday is often a day when I'm extremely tired and often have a headache. I guess it's a result of the week. Not today! I'm not able to do what I want to do, (Believe it or not, I WANT to do housework!) but I've enjoyed preparing my lesson and watching some TV with my dear sweet husband. Neal is such a trooper. He has health problems of his own, but he's always there for me. He loves me dearly and the feeling is quite mutual.

Until next time!

A done deal

After several people told me that they wanted me to make a calendar, I did. If you want the login information, let me know and I'll email it to you or send it to you via a message on facebook. Thanks guys. God is good!

Calendar?

I have a question for you. I have never been one to ask for help. Many of you have stated that you want to help me and have offered ways to help. However, I don't want to impose. I also know that when I have a friend in need, I want to be able to help too. With that said, another friend suggested that I create a calendar on which people could insert a day to bring food, offer to clean, or run errands. It's really tough on me to do this, but I'm not happy watching my husband practically have a melt down because of all of the extra burdens that have been placed in his lap. Rachel is still home and helps, but she is a senior and I want her to enjoy her senior year. She is involved in many activities and I don't want her to have to give them up. Besides, she will be moving out in August and will no longer be a resource of help anyway. So, should I create a calendar? Like I said, this is a tough one for me, but I know that a lot of stress would be lifted from me if I would just accept the help that is offered.

Thank you guys. You are all a blessing.

Why did I do that again?

This hasn't been the best of weeks. I had a treatment Monday, which was not a good idea. I usually have treatments on Thursday so I can have the weekend to recuperate before going back to work on Monday. This time, however, I postponed it because of my sweet Rachel's 18th birthday. The next few Thursday's were booked so I had to take a Monday. Not good! I was not able to get the rest that I normally do after a treatment and I'm feeling it. Don't get me wrong. I am very blessed to have the job that I have. Being a teacher of the gifted, my students come to me so I had the choice of staying home all week or just canceling my classes but still going to work. (Unless I'm forgetting something, this was the first time that I had cancelled my classes and still gone to work since all of this began.) Since I've had to use quite a few sick days during the last couple of years, I went to work. I might not have been teaching, but I stayed QUITE busy. For gifted specialists, this is the time of year in which we are doing the most paperwork. I currently have a huge stack of papers on my desk. Let me explain. All throughout the first semester of school, gifted specialists visit second grade classrooms to do activities with students for the purpose of finding students who are demonstrating gifted characteristics. We collect a vast quantity of information. Since I don't have a lot of energy these days, I was blessed to have a dear co-worker to do all of that for me. Thank you Sherrie! Now that all of that information has been collected, we are putting it all together and examining each product the students have given us while looking for gifted characteristics. This is quite a daunting task. Since I haven't had students this week, I spent the entire week looking at all of these products. Sherrie is at three different schools (I'm sorry girl!), so she was unable to help me until yesterday. Even though I spent the entire week combing through hundreds of products and Sherrie was there combing through them with me yesterday, we still aren't done! And my energy level is diminishing. I am also the lead gifted specialist in our system so I have other responsibilities besides teaching and all of this paperwork that I just mentioned. Whew! But God is good and I am blessed to have this job. I love doing what I do. It's fun seeing what seven- and eight-year-old children can create. You'd be amazed!

But I digress. You're right Lisa M. This is going to be quite therapeutic for me. I should have started this a long time ago. Even if no one reads it, I can pour out my thoughts and feelings and help myself sort them out. Life is good and I am blessed. God placed me here on this earth for a specific number of days and I need to appreciate each one. We all do. Just look around. It's amazing how He has blessed us. We are just specks in this vast universe, yet He cares about every single one of us. Simply unbelievable! Why? I have no idea. We certainly haven't done anything to deserve His love. That's the beauty of it. He loves us anyway. We can't do anything to obtain His love, and we can't do anything to lose His love. Ephesians 2:9 states, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast." (emphasis mine). There is nothing we can do to earn His love, and there is nothing we can do to lose His love. He IS love. He cannot NOT love us. Astounding!

Wow! Am I preaching or what! I'm just so happy to be His. I may be experiencing trials right now, but because I accepted His love for me, this is as bad as it will get. If you haven't accepted Jesus and His wondrous love, PLEASE DO SO! Because I have accepted Him and His love, this world is the closest to hell that I will ever be. I have nothing but wonder and glory to look forward to. So bring it on!