38 Years

Thirty-eight years. That's how long it's been since I had an accident that brought my Chiari symptoms to the forefront. No, the accident did not cause the Chiari; the problem had been there since birth—I just didn't know about it. Because Chiari was relatively new and most doctors didn't even know about it at the time, no one could figure out what was going on. Actually, any doctor I saw thought it was "all in my head." (They really didn't know how accurate that was!)

The Arnold-Chiari Malformation that I have is due to my cerebellum being too far down and reaching into my spinal cord. The cord puts pressure on my brain, causing headaches, double vision, difficulty swallowing, dizziness, neck pain, unsteady gait, weakness, and ringing in my ears. My symptoms began in 1982 as headaches. Other symptoms started appearing a few months later. I went to several different eye doctors and told them about the double vision. At the time, the double vision would mainly occur when I was under a lot of stress. Since you can't schedule stress, they couldn't see it and really didn't believe me. That is, until late 1987 when I was doing my student teaching. I had an eye appointment after an especially stressful day at school. The double vision was so bad that I had to cover one eye to drive. And yes, the doctor finally saw it. He sent me to a neuro-ophthalmologist at UAB. He just "happened" to be doing research on Chiari, so he recognized it immediately. I felt so vindicated! At the time, I was only the 2nd known case in the USA. He sent me to Johns Hopkins for a 2nd opinion. Upon returning, I had surgery to remove a quarter size piece of skull tissue in the back of my head, along with the backs of the top 3 vertebrae to alleviate pressure on my brain. It helped, but I was never asymptomatic. The symptoms began to return, and I had another surgery in 2001. Again, it helped but didn't completely correct the problem. I still have tons of headaches (of course, brain cancer attributes to that too), double vision, and dizziness. I take medication that really helps with the double vision, so that's not really an issue any more.

Thirty-eight years is a long time. I'm tired and just want to go Home. I have headaches every day, but I'd been blessed to have a few weeks of minor headaches. However, that changed Monday. Today is Wednesday, and I've had a really, really bad headache since then. A headache this bad often lasts a week or more. I really covet your prayers. Please enter His Throneroom on my behalf and ask for relief. The pain, along with grieving for my Mama, is relentless. Maybe He's waiting on an army of prayer warriors to intercede along with Him. Please join the troops. I would appreciate it immensely.

Opposite Day

Have you ever played the opposite game? I remember my kids playing it with me. It could get confusing and hilarious all at the same time. Their "yes" became "no" and their "no" became "yes." They almost got in trouble a few times but would yell "Opposite day!"

Well, that's how it is with Christ. The very thing the world expects becomes the opposite. I know you've seen stories of parents forgiving their child's murderer. Pope John Paul II not only forgave his would be assassin (attempted in 1981), but they became friends. After the Pope died in 2005, his attacker truly mourned his death. That's what we do as Christians--the very opposite of what the world expects. Not because of us, but because Jesus did the opposite of what anyone expected. Instead of a crown of gold, He wore a crown of thorns. Not what you would expect from a king. But that's exactly what He is--our King. He died so we could live. The cross was actually His coronation ceremony. How opposite is that!

Sit back, close your eyes, and listen to this song. You certainly have time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xk4xS-95mE

Under the Shelter of His Wings

Wow. I didn't realize it had been so long since I wrote an entry until someone asked me to share my blog with them. For those of you who aren't on Facebook, my apologies!

So much has happened since last summer, which was my last post. We are currently facing a world-wide pandemic that has most of us stuck at home. Honestly, this is how my life is most of the time. I do miss my church family, my kids, and my grandbabies. Peter was born in January and has grown so much already. Yes, we can facetime, but it's definitely not the same. I need to hold him and play with Lucy! Lucy is at such a fun age. We do all kinds of pretend when we're together. Oh, how I miss them! Oh, but I do miss you too David and Rachel. You're kind of special too. 😉

My health is unchanged. I'm still the miracle my doctor said I was! I still have good days and bad days. There are days when the only thing that reminds me that I have cancer is the lack of energy. Sometimes, I feel really good and will do WAY too many things at home. When I do, I'm quickly reminded that I shouldn't be doing that. Oh the fatigue that sets in! Other time, I'm in such pain that I really wish God would just take me Home. Those are days when I don't see a purpose in my continual existence. No worries though. God reminds me that He isn't finished with me yet. Nevertheless, when those thoughts and feelings enter my messed up brain, they are very real. Satan is quite diligent in focusing on making me feel insignificant. But then God... Don't you just love that! The word "but" can be a very loving word!

Today is a good day. I'm experiencing a lot of pain in my neck (no anecdotes, please!🤣), but it isn't excruciating like it so often is. He has me under the shelter of His Wings.

He has us ALL under the shelter of His Wings. Yes, COVID-19 has changed our world, possibly forever. The good news is that He has gotten our attention. So many Christians are being His Hands and Feet. The stories we've seen and experienced have His love written all over them. Who would have thought that an MSNBC anchor would ask a pastor on national TV to pray for us all? Who would have thought that America could ever be basically shut down but so many acts of kindness would occur during the midst of it all? I know Who. The One Who wrote the greatest love story and history book of all time. The One Who loves us even when we're at our absolute worst. The One Who forgives us for even the most heinous of atrocities, if we only ask. The One Who took it all on Himself so we wouldn't have to endure the punishment we so rightly deserve. Do you know this One? Do you know my Jesus? He came as a Baby, but He will soon return as a Conqueror. He will destroy all sin--none of it will be left, including those of us who refuse to turn to Him for forgiveness. Which side will you be on? The Conqueror or the conquered?

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
~ Joshua 28:15 [emphasis mine]

One more thing. If you haven't read Revelation, read it. If you need help reading it or have questions, ask. I've taught it in my small group for several years but definitely have a lot to learn. One good commentary I've found is on the Through the Word app. Chapter 18 is like reading current events. If you read it and don't see how it's so relevant, ask. It can be a very challenging book to read and understand, but it's oh so worth it. He's coming soon. Are you ready?

My Sweet Mama

My sweet Mama. Oh, how I miss you already! Your love, hugs, sense of humor, and oh what an infectious smile! One thing people would generally say about you was how beautiful your smile was. And your home-cooked meals! Simply nothing like them! No matter how hard I try, I can never replicate those dinners! I could go on and on with the love I have for you. Thankfully, you knew that. Sometimes, when I told you I loved you, you'd say, "no kidding!" I'm just so blessed to know that you are no longer trapped by your body. No more lying in bed, continually staring at the ceiling. Run to Jesus Mama! Say hi to Daddy, Barbara, Ronald, Martin, Mark, Mother and Daddy Vice, and all our family for us. We'll see you soon!

11/04/1922--03/11/2020
You lived your "dash" well!

Outside her apartment at age 89 in 2012

Washing dishes in Michael's kitchen with Daddy being silly 😄

97th Birthday

See you soon Mama!