My Heart is Full

Tuesday, March 1 was my first official day of retirement. I miss my students, but I am feeling better. I'm more rested and can do things at my leisure. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me now because He does have a plan for me. I trust Him and I know He will do great and mighty things through me if I will let Him. "'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'" ~ Jeremiah 29:11.

Last week was so full. Thursday, the fantabulous gifted education specialists in Madison County had a retirement celebration for me. They showered me with gifts and tangled a C for me. (Zentangle art is a specific type of art that we learned at one of our gifted conferences. We started creating pieces with our students, and they love it.) I am going to miss collaborating with these ladies!

                

Tangled C

Gift card tree

Friday, the Monrovia faculty also sent me off in style with a retirement celebration. They honored me with gifts and lots of love. I know I probably didn't seem to appreciate it very much, but I've never been comfortable when a lot of attention is placed on me. However, I appreciated it IMMENSELY and will miss you all so much!

Neal, Rachel, me, Eva, and David with Mrs. Long photobombing :)

Finally, many current and former parents and students celebrated with me after the faculty send-off. I was SO amazed at the number of people who came! Students and parents started arriving at about 4:15 and I didn't get home until around 7:00! They just kept coming! They all stood in line to speak to me. I took my time speaking to each student, and the rest waited patiently. I just can't get over how many came! They all wrote notes to me and put them in a scrapbook. Many brought other gifts as well. One mom even made a beautiful quilt for me. When I say my heart is full, I mean it. If anything, it's overflowing.

The scrapbook

Just one of the many notes

A student's tangle for me

The quilt--a picture can't do it justice!

A portion of the quilt

Some flowers I received in my favorite color

Former students--9th-12th grades

Yes, this was MY celebration, but it could have been any teacher's who has given his or her time, love, and talents to the precious students under his or her tutelage. The media concentrates WAY too much time on teachers that have a negative impact on the lives of their students. Let me emphasize that this is usually NOT the case. We don't go into education so we can devote all of that time to something for which we don't have a passion. We simply don't get paid enough for that. Most people don't see the extra time and effort we put into all that we do. We take our work home with us and spend a lot of time working at home as well. Even when we aren't planning our lessons or writing curriculum (which we gifted specialists have to do), we are answering emails or praying over our students. We are passionate about education and love our students. They become OUR children. When they move on, we still wonder how they are doing and cherish letters and emails we receive from them when they let us know how life is treating them. I still wonder about students I had during my first year. I was teaching high school and these "children" would be in their mid to late 40s now!

For all that have been a part of my 22 years of teaching, whether students, parents, or teachers, I thank you. I thank you for helping me to develop into the person I am today. I thank you for sharing a portion of your lives with me. I thank you for allowing me to enter into your lives, even if for a brief moment in time, to share experiences with you. I am who I am because of the influence you have had on me. Each person who enters our lives shapes us in some way. I love and thank you all so very much. God has truly been good to me.

"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven." ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

The season of my life of being a public school teacher has come and gone. What does God have in store for me now? Only He knows, but it's going to be good.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." ~ Romans 8:28

Amen and amen!!

So Undeserving!

SO. MUCH. GOOD. NEWS!!!!

God is SOOOOO good!!! Praise God through Whom ALL blessings flow!!! First and foremost, I'm going to be a Grandmother!!! Yes, I know you have probably already read it on Facebook or in an email, but I don't care! I'm so excited! A new life. Wow! For the last three generations on Neal's side, his mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother did not live to see their grandchildren. With all that has happened with me, that was certainly a concern. I certainly hope to change that cycle. Even Neal's step-mother did not live to know her grandchildren. She saw her first grandchild, but unfortunately passed away a couple of weeks after he was born. I am one happy lady!!

Secondly, I received more really good news yesterday. The MRI showed that there are no new tumors in the brain, and the ones that were zapped by the radiosurgery are shrinking! Yay me!!! I can't hardly contain myself. Did I mention that God is SOOOOO good!!!!

A new chapter. A new definition of me. Retired Gifted Education Specialist. But mostly, GRANDMOTHER!!!

"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

He's rejoicing over me with singing right now! Can you believe it? The Creator of the Universe is rejoicing with me! He saved me; He often quiets me with His love; and now He rejoices with me! I am SO undeserving, yet He does it anyway. My God is SOOO good!!!

A New Definition

(Written February 13, 2016)

Thursday, February 4, 2016 marked the last day I will ever teach in a public school classroom. It was quite emotional. Since then I have been completing a lot of paperwork pertaining to my retirement. I've been busy with that and haven't had time to really think about the aforementioned fact. But let's concentrate on the positives.

1. I didn't have to worry about whether or not schools would be closed this week because of snow. That was nice!

2. I have more time for me. Time to do things that I rarely had time for before. Movies, theater, volunteering, and girl stuff!

3. Neal and I can travel when school's in session. We plan to go places that we've always wanted to explore. Israel is at the top of the list.

4. I will have more time for my personal children and eventually grandchildren. Oh what a day that will be!

5. I can do things when I feel like it and not when I have to. When I was teaching, I didn't feel like doing anything after school or on the weekends. I was usually extremely tired or had a bad headache. I haven't had a really bad headache since the last day I taught, and I haven't been as tired. Yes, I'm fatigued. but nothing like before.

6. Hopefully, the extra rest will help my body fight this cursed disease.

7. I can spend more time with my Savior. When your body hurts as bad as mine often does, reading and studying is just not in the cards. When I have a really bad headache, my eyes hurt and I have trouble concentrating. But I don't want to just read and study; I want to do. I want to walk with Him as we minister to others. I don't know what that will look like, but I know He has a plan and will reveal it to me in time.

So, like I said before, this isn't the end; it's only the beginning. The beginning to a new definition of me. For the last 14 years, I have been Cindy Thompson, Gifted Teacher; prior to that, I was Cindy Thompson, Pampered Chef Kitchen Consultant/Director; and prior to that, I was Cindy Thompson, Math teacher. All during that time, I've been wife and Mom--two absolutely cherished roles. Those roles have been granted to me by my Savior. I'm so thankful that those roles will always be a part of my life. They are a part of my definition, but they do not complete my definition. My Jesus completes me. He will provide a new definition of me that will knock my socks off. He always does.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." ~ Ecclesiastes 3:11

Unexpected Turns

I started taking chemo again last Thursday. Yay me! I take five pills every day. So far, I've been more tired than usual and have had a few stomach issues, but nothing major. Keep the prayers going!

If all goes as planned, next Thursday, February 4 will be my last day at school with March 1 being the official retirement date. I know God has another plan for me now, but it's still not easy to leave the best job in the world. I just have to trust and know that His thoughts and ways are so much higher than mine. I can only see from my very limited perspective; in contrast, He already knows how it all ends. He's got this!

Please pray for me and my family as we enter this new phase of our lives. Yes, my children are grown, but they love their mom and it's tough on them too. It's definitely tough on Neal with all that he does for me. Maybe I'll be able to help more now that I hopefully won't be as fatigued.

Pray for my sweet Mama. I still haven't told her. Since her assisted living flooded on Christmas day, she has had to stay in the adjacent nursing home and hasn't felt great herself. I haven't wanted to make her feel worse. She's quite a tough lady, but she also loves her baby. Tuesday was January 26--nine years since my sister Barbara was killed in a car accident; Wednesday was January 27--nine years since Daddy died from the strokes he had a month earlier. I called her Monday and she was quite unhappy as she remembered that anniversary. I just can't bring myself to tell her about my situation yet. God will tell me when it's time.

Life can really take unexpected turns sometimes. The key is, are we ready to face those turns? I can't imagine not having the One Who knows what's around those turns in my life. Revelation 1:8 states, "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End," says the LORD, "Who is and Who was and Who is to come, the Almighty." He was there when the cancer cells were present in my body but were yet undiscovered; He's been there throughout this entire journey with me; and He'll be there when I take my last breath on this Earth. But that won't be the end. Next, I'll be sitting at His Feet and will forever be in His presence. Oh what a glorious Day that will be! Can you see it? Can you feel it? Oh the joy! In the meantime, I just have to keep remembering these verses.

" 'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.' " ~ Isaiah 55:8-9

 

God's got this!!

Depression and Hope

Today has been a rough day. No reason. I've just been down. I feel guilty about feeling this way because God is so good and I know He's got this. One way or another, He's got this.

I've been completing paperwork today for my retirement. It's hasn't been a big deal so far (but Social Security is next), but it's just been a reminder of the new phase of life that I am entering and I don't like it. Neal suggested we sit down and start planning for things for me to do after retirement. Hopefully, that will help me feel better. I know I want to help with Staycation at my church as much as possible. Cave Spring started doing this event last year during spring break. We spend the week serving the community and helping to meet various needs. It is quite tiring so I know I won't be able to help as much as I'd like, but it will be better than nothing. I'm really happy about the work that my church is doing in our community for our Savior. It really shows how we can be His Hands and Feet. Now that I'm about to be retired, I want to be able to do so much more. I know I have limitations, but I also know He will equip me with what I need. The bottom line is that He doesn't need me to spread His Gospel, but He graciously allows me to do so.

What does the future hold for me? I have no idea, but I want to take each day as it comes and enjoy each one. Yes, today has been more of a dreary one, but I was able to be dreary with my husband and for that I am blessed. Neal has been so great through all of this. God truly knew what He was doing when He brought the two of us together. What a surprise! LOL!!

I just have to keep on keeping on. God's got this. When I have trouble persevering, He's got this. I just need to keep His Word close.

"You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in Your Word." ~ Psalm 119:114

Indeed I have. Thank You, sweet Jesus. Thank You.

And the Decision is...

When the cancer returned in 2010, my doctor asked me then if I wanted to consider going on disability. I definitely said no. I absolutely love what I do. I am a teacher. I teach tomorrow's leaders. Today, they are 8-11 years old boys and girls with aspirations to be normal kids but are anything but. Yes, I teach gifted students. Gifted kids are often misunderstood. Many people believe they don't need additional help because they can learn on their own. Yes, they generally learn more quickly, but they deserve to learn new things as much as any other student. Many parents shy away from telling others their child is gifted because other parents think they are bragging. Would I be bragging if I said one of my kids is a boy and the other is a girl? It's just a fact. And there's so much that goes along with being a gifted kid that no one thinks about. They often have many social and emotional issues that aren't understood. I could go on and on, but that isn't what this post was supposed to be about. I just wanted you to get a feel for how incredibly difficult this decision has been for me. I love my students and being a small part of their precious lives. I truly believe that I will see many of them making headlines in the future with their groundbreaking activities.

Yes, the decision is made. My doctor told me after cancer metastasized to the brain that life expectancy is greatly reduced. She said I could live for many years, but most are doing well to live six. As she put it, "it's time to enjoy the good cutlery." Oh, I know Who is really in control and I could be around longer than most of you, but the odds are certainly in your favor. Even when she asked me to strongly consider retirement in December, I was trying to think of ways I could just "cut back" and not work as much. If you're a teacher, you know there is truly no cutting back. You will always have lesson plans, paperwork, curriculum to write, new technology to learn, and the list goes on. I remember when I worked part time many moon ago, it was never really part time. Part time teaching just doesn't exist.

So, when I saw my doctor again Monday and she asked why I had not gone on disability, I really couldn't answer. I love my students. I love my faculty. I love my principal. I have the best job in the world, yet I'm being asked to give it up. I just don't get it. Sometimes, life can really kick you in the rear.

Yes, the decision is made. I can't be who I want to be anymore. I have to retire. But, as one of my sweet friends reminded me last night, I can kick back and enjoy life. No more lesson plans, gifted testing, faculty meetings, endless paperwork, etc. I plan to enjoy life, to go on vacations when everyone else is in school, to sleep late, to do what I want for a change. Yes, life can be quite challenging, but it can be really sweet as well. This isn't the end; it's only the beginning.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Or, as one of my sweet teacher friends translated, "Sieze the tail of the tiger and smile."

January 13 Update

I went to the doctor Monday. I will begin taking Tykerb (oral chemo) again in a couple of weeks. The last time I took it, it made me really tired but I didn't have a lot of other side effects.

I've been in a lot of pain lately and need your prayers. I love teaching, but it has been really challenging for me lately. I so appreciate my supportive faculty at Monrovia. They are the best!

Again, please pray for decisions that I need to make. God is good and will provide an answer. He's got this!