And the Decision is...

When the cancer returned in 2010, my doctor asked me then if I wanted to consider going on disability. I definitely said no. I absolutely love what I do. I am a teacher. I teach tomorrow's leaders. Today, they are 8-11 years old boys and girls with aspirations to be normal kids but are anything but. Yes, I teach gifted students. Gifted kids are often misunderstood. Many people believe they don't need additional help because they can learn on their own. Yes, they generally learn more quickly, but they deserve to learn new things as much as any other student. Many parents shy away from telling others their child is gifted because other parents think they are bragging. Would I be bragging if I said one of my kids is a boy and the other is a girl? It's just a fact. And there's so much that goes along with being a gifted kid that no one thinks about. They often have many social and emotional issues that aren't understood. I could go on and on, but that isn't what this post was supposed to be about. I just wanted you to get a feel for how incredibly difficult this decision has been for me. I love my students and being a small part of their precious lives. I truly believe that I will see many of them making headlines in the future with their groundbreaking activities.

Yes, the decision is made. My doctor told me after cancer metastasized to the brain that life expectancy is greatly reduced. She said I could live for many years, but most are doing well to live six. As she put it, "it's time to enjoy the good cutlery." Oh, I know Who is really in control and I could be around longer than most of you, but the odds are certainly in your favor. Even when she asked me to strongly consider retirement in December, I was trying to think of ways I could just "cut back" and not work as much. If you're a teacher, you know there is truly no cutting back. You will always have lesson plans, paperwork, curriculum to write, new technology to learn, and the list goes on. I remember when I worked part time many moon ago, it was never really part time. Part time teaching just doesn't exist.

So, when I saw my doctor again Monday and she asked why I had not gone on disability, I really couldn't answer. I love my students. I love my faculty. I love my principal. I have the best job in the world, yet I'm being asked to give it up. I just don't get it. Sometimes, life can really kick you in the rear.

Yes, the decision is made. I can't be who I want to be anymore. I have to retire. But, as one of my sweet friends reminded me last night, I can kick back and enjoy life. No more lesson plans, gifted testing, faculty meetings, endless paperwork, etc. I plan to enjoy life, to go on vacations when everyone else is in school, to sleep late, to do what I want for a change. Yes, life can be quite challenging, but it can be really sweet as well. This isn't the end; it's only the beginning.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Or, as one of my sweet teacher friends translated, "Sieze the tail of the tiger and smile."