Back in Session!

Well, school is certainly back in session! The adderall was helping at first. When school resumed, my energy level was really high. I was able to do things that I needed to do and it was great. By about 3:00 each day the medication had worn off, but I had mostly completed the day anyway so I was good with that. However, this week has been different. I don't know if it's because I've been at it a while again or what, but I'm tired again. Not as much, but I still don't have the energy that I would like to have. My back has been hurting again this week and I'm having trouble focusing. Of course, I did have a treatment last week so that could be the problem. As Dori from Finding Nemo would probably say, "Just keep praying. Just keep praying!" Next week will probably be much better! God is so good!

Rachel's at Alabama and doing well. I miss her greatly but I know she has to grow up and move on. She's experiencing those typical college trials that most of us endured, but she's going to do just fine. David and Eva are doing well also. The newlyweds are loving every minute of their lives together, as true newlyweds do.

I have a new prayer request. This has been going on for about six months but I just haven't mentioned it in my blog. One of the side effects of the chemo is extremely dry skin to the point of splitting. I keep my skin moisturized and most of my skin is fine, but I'm having problems around my big toes. All of the moisturizer that I'm putting on them just isn't helping. The skin is not only splitting around them, but  some of the skin has also peeled off, and they are bleeding and swelling. The left toe doesn't bleed as much but it is more sensitive than the other one. The right one bleeds and swells a lot more. I've had more trouble with it for a longer period of time, so I can't help but wonder if I've lost some feeling in it and that is why it's not nearly as sensitive as the left one. I've had trouble with my fingers as well, but just not to that extent. I had trouble with my left thumb swelling and bleeding for a while, but it has improved. The tips of my fingers are sensitive, especially when I need to use tape a lot such as when I'm trying to put up  a bulletin board. I've been fortunate in that this has been going on in the summer when I can wear open-toed shoes. Just pray that my feet will get better when I need to start wearing closed-toed shoes. I guess this is just what two years of chemo will do to you! But hey, I'm still here! God's not through with me in this world yet!

"For we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." ~ II Corinthians 4:8

Fatigue, weight gain, and acne

As stated in the last post, I attended a workshop Monday-Wednesday. I was SO tired after it was all over. I had a treatment yesterday (Thursday) and my doctor took me off the steroid since it didn't really help during my three day workshop. It's also causing me to gain weight and my face is breaking out. I haven't had such a problem with acne since I was in high school! So, to help with the extreme fatigue, she put me on adderall. We usually think of adderall as the medicine prescribed to children with ADHD, but it affects adults without ADHD in just the opposite manner. It calms the children, while it gives the adults extra energy. I took my first dose today. I woke up this morning EXTREMELY tired from the treatment yesterday and took one. I have had more energy than usual after a treatment so maybe it's working.

I go back to school to begin the new year Monday. I have so many mixed emotions about it. It scares me because I never know how working is going to affect me, but I'm also quite thankful that I can still work. I know. I shouldn't be scared. God is in control and He is taking care of me. He is SO faithful. I just cannot even begin to understand the love He has for me. I love to watch birds. They always remind me of how He watches and cares for them, but oh how He watches and cares for me so much more! As Matthew 6:26 says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

Feeling Good!

I just wanted everyone to know that I have been feeling good lately. My doctor prescribed a steroid to help boost my energy and it's been working. Yes, I still get tired easily but I have more energy than before I began taking it. I'll find out in a few weeks if it helps while I'm at school. I'm attending a workshop on August 6-8, I have a treatment on the 9th, teachers start back to school on the 13th, and students start back on the 20th. I'm not excited about going back because I'm able to get so much more rest during the summer, but I am SO thankful that I can still work. God continues to bless me more than I deserve. He is an awesome God and I'm so glad I'm His!

I got my hair cut today. This is a picture of how it looks today after my hairdresser spent at least an hour straightening it. I won't be doing that. It's too exhausting!

Time to vent

I haven't updated in a while. I haven't felt that great. I am so blessed to be a teacher so I can have some time off in the summer to relax, but I'm starting to get concerned about going back again. I'm concerned about how long I will actually be able to teach. I love my job but any teacher can tell you that it is QUITE tiring and stressful. I absolutely adore my students and want to be able to be the best teacher for  them that they deserve. God is good and I am so blessed that He is still allowing me to teach.

I need encouragement. I'm feeling alone. I know I'm not, but I feel that way a lot. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and takes extremely good care of me; I have a loving church family who has been watching out for me as well; I have a new family who loves me and takes care of me too; but most of all, I have an awesome Heavenly Father who loves me beyond reason. So why do I feel this way? Probably because I have stage 4 metastatic breast cancer! I'm human and have a tough time dealing with it at times. I have a good friend who just spent two hours talking to me and letting me vent as I really haven't done before. She helped me a lot. Thank you dear. I needed that.

Nothing has really changed in my prognosis; I just get down at times. None of us knows how long we have on this earth, but when we are faced with our mortality the reality hits you square in the face. I know that when God chooses to take me Home, it will be the best day ever! I just don't look forward to the process of getting there. I also know from experience how great it has been to have my Mama in my life. I want that for my kids. I also know how unfortunate it has been for my children not to have their Dad's mother in their lives. She would have been such a good grandmother! I want to be there for my grandchildren and I want to be healthy for them. Keep praying for me and for a cure to this awful disease. God is so good and has a purpose for all of this, but I do get frustrated. Ease my frustration, LORD!

I'm sorry that I had to vent today. I stay upbeat for the most part, but I do have my moments. Writing in my blog has often helped me sort things out. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. God is good!

Thanks for the prayers!

Thank you so much for your prayers! God heard you. The prayers of His saints are quite precious to Him. I still don't feel great, but I feel better and was able to go to church last night. It's always a special time for me to be able to hear Rachel and the praise band. They did a very good job. Josh delivered a sermon about Jonah and how the book is not about Jonah but about God's mercy and deliverance. It was great timing for me. God is so good. Again, thank you.

Get Behind Me Satan!

I may have spoken too soon. I haven't been feeling well the last couple of days. I've been sick to my stomach and have had a bad headache. It's Wednesday. I had planned to go to church tonight and worship with the youth. Rachel leads the praise band and will until the end of July. Josh always challenges us with a captivating sermon. I want to be able to hear Rachel as much as possible before she leaves for Alabama. It seems that most Wednesdays I don't feel well. Get behind me Satan! I want to go to church! Please join me in prayer as I pray for God to knock him down so I can go to church tonight.

Now to relax!

It's been a while since I've updated my blog, but so much has happened! I now have a beautiful daughter-in-law! God is so good! David's and Eva's wedding was absolutely beautiful. It was at a small church on Mooresville Road near Athens called Isom's Chapel. Everything went as planned. The ceremony was so sweet. They went to Charleston, SC for their honeymoon. While they were driving back, we (four parents, Rachel, and their friends Andrew, Magan, and Spring) moved their stuff into their new apartment in Tuscaloosa. And oh, they do have the stuff! Their friends decorated their apartment for their welcome home and did a fantastic job. Way to go guys!

I had a treatment Monday after the wedding. I had postponed it during the month of May since so much was going on. The treatment went well. Since I have still been extremely tired, my doctor gave me a steroid to take to hopefully increase my energy. It's just a small dose so there shouldn't be any of the harmful side effects that come with taking steroids. It's been helping. I've had more energy and have been able to do more this week. Of course, I'm also wondering if it's because I'm out of school. I might go without it for a few days next week to just see if that's the case. I'll be sure to update.

It's been so nice having the month of May and the first part of June behind me! Like I said earlier, so much happened! Eva graduated from Alabama on May 5; Rachel's Senior Piano Recital was May 12; Rachel's combined piano recital was May 13; Rachel graduated May 22; the last day of school for me was May 31; David's and Eva's rehearsal and rehearsal dinner was June 1; their wedding was June 2; my treatment was June 4; we moved them in June 9. Now I can relax, and that's just what I've been doing. Part of my relaxation has involved doing some house cleaning, but that's okay. I haven't felt up to doing it for a long time. I'm doing it at my pace. If it doesn't get completely done, life will go on. I've learned to prioritize. I enjoy having a clean house, but it's not huge on the list. It can't be. While Rachel is still home, she and I can do it together. Once she leaves, that won't be the case. God still loves me even when my house is a mess! So if you come for a visit, you'll just have to forgive me. God already has.

Rachel giving the invocation














            
               Rachel receiving her diploma

Beautiful Rachel

                   David's first look at Eva











The Bride's cake

                                                     Their first dance









Jacob, Jim, and Lisa Reed; Eva, David, Cindy, Neal, and Rachel Thompson

                       


                         David and Eva cutting the Groom's cake

Another look at the best Groom's cake ever!












                           The Wedding Party