The Good and the Bad

I think the time between my posts is getting longer and longer. For those of you not on Facebook, I apologize.

My last doctor's appointment in late August went very well. I had MRI and CT scans that showed the cancer had shrunk! Yay!! Because of this, she said I could start having treatments every 3 months instead of every 3 weeks! I was one happy camper! I have a doctor appointment on October 7, but I don't have another treatment until December 5. After 3 years of going every 3-5 weeks, extending that time to every 3 months sounds fantabulous!

However, I had to start teaching again. Don't get me wrong; I love being a teacher, but it's an extremely demanding job. I have a lot on me this year, and even though I don't have to have treatments as often, I'm still battling this disease. I am tired just about all of the time. This is a very difficult post for me to write, but I'm going to write it anyway. When I woke up this morning, after struggling with a headache all night (which I've had for days now), I really didn't see the point in being here any more. I really wanted to go Home where I will have a glorified body and not have to deal with this any more. I didn't know if I was going to take my medicine because I just didn't see the point. When I told Neal, his face just dropped. I felt bad even telling him. I keep a lot internalized because I feel that a huge burden of responsibility has been placed on my shoulders. During my life, since I was 17 years old, I have had to deal with one health problem after another. It has not been an easy road. God has been with me every step of the way, but sometimes I want to literally be in His Arms.

As selfish as I was feeling about being ready to give up, I know I have family members who would be devastated. So, I decided to post on Facebook this morning that I needed prayers for my physical and emotional well-being. Oh how you came through! Although my headache is not gone, it is much better and I'm in a much better frame of mind. Our God is so good! Thank you for being there for me once again and boldly going to His throne for my sake. I know I will be much better off and much happier once I go Home, but I also know that He's not through with me here yet. Thank you SO much for the prayers so that He would remind me of that. You guys rock!!